I am on the cusp of turning 25. I often find myself looking back, and wondering where the time has gone. I am married to the love of my life, have two beautiful children, a beautiful home, and a family that adores them. My life now, is pretty close to perfect, in my opinion. I have everything that I have ever wanted, but it hasn't always been that way. I am in no way, shape, or form perfect. I have had personal struggles. I have made many, many, bad decisions and poor choices. To say that I went through a "rebellious stage" in my teens, would have to be an understatement. After all the heartache, looking back now, I see that I could have avoided almost all of it, if I had just listened to my mother. Every major life event that has ever gone wrong, she has been on the sidelines, cheering for me to go in the other direction. Every time that I was headed to hells door, she was there trying to send me back up to the light. Why didn't I listen? Does any young person ever really listen to their parents, until they are grown? Ohhh, the sleep I could have avoided losing if I had just followed her orders. Sitting in bed this morning, sipping coffee, I reflect on times that I wish I had just bit the bullet and listened to Ole Pammy Pam.
1: Don't date bad boys, they only turn into bad men. Yeah, this is a big one. Not just for me, but it seems like my inner circle of friends (when we were younger) just loved to date people that treated us like crud. Ladies, honestly, there is nothing attractive about a bad boy. They suck on so many levels. Just because he has a motorcycle and a criminal record, doesn't mean it is an open invitation to try to "change" him. I understand in our weird brains, that we view this as a challenge, and want to be that girl they change for, but it will never happen. Unless they are carbon copies of James Dean, circa "Rebel Without a Cause", leave em alone. (Even then, you're still not Natalie Wood.) Trust me on this.
2: Take School Seriously. Ugh, if I had a dollar for every single time I heard this. I was always a good student, and then I had a taste of freedom in college and went wild. I breezed through semesters and didn't give grad school, or even graduation a second though. Far less, what or how I would support my future family, because of course, according to me at 18, I was "never, ever having children". Yeah, look at me now, I just recently sold a mini van at 24. Honestly, get an education. I finished up the lab assistant program with a baby and it was HARD. I plan on going back, SOMEDAY, but I know it will be even more challenging with two. Finish up before you have kids and make it easier on yourself, any mom in school with tell you that.
3: Stop letting people use you. This includes friends, boyfriends, family members. Whatever. If someone only comes around when it benefits them, then go ahead and cut them out of your life. They aren't your friend. These relationships usually turn toxic and end badly.
4: Cherish your true friends, and be there for them. I have a group of girlfriends that I adore, and even though we may not see each other as much as we'd like, when we do get together it is like time has never passed. People grow up, have their own lives, and move away, but the bond of true friendship can withstand numerous miles and missed phone calls. You all know who you are, and you know that through thick and thin, I will always be there for you guys!
5: NEVER SETTLE. Everyone deserves to be happy. Everyone deserves the best. It doesn't matter if it is a relationship, or a job. Do not settle for something that is mediocre when you could find something that is perfect. It took me a long time to quit settling, but once I did, my entire life changed, and for the better.
And then, there was one piece of advice I DID take............
My Mom encouraged me to marry someone that made me a better person. I had broken off an engagement that I knew wasn't right. She knew it too, but never said it. It was one of the best decisions, to date, that I have ever made for myself, and I am sure he feels the same. She assured me that when I found the one, I'd know, and to just go ahead and get married. Then I met my husband. Kyle and I were married after 8 months, a lot of drama, and a seriously wonderful whirlwind courtship. Mom was right, I just knew. It's been nearly three years and two kids later, and he still inspires me to be a better person. We have a lot of fun together, even if it's just sitting on the porch laughing about the day.
Moral of the story: Your mama knows what she is talking about. If I have any young readers out there, take it from the Queen of defiance and stupid choices, listen to her. She knows you better than anyone, and is willing to put up with all of your shit and still love you. If she tells you not to do something, leave it at that, and just don't. Don't be like me, looking back and cringing at all the idiotic things that I did in the past. Hopefully I can offer the same insight to my boys, although, if they are anything like me they probably won't listen.
One last thing, if you mom tells you that lime green, sequined prom dress that you die for is ugly, then chances are it probably is......
Labels: mom life, Motherhood
