5 Times I Wish I Had Listened to My Mom.

I am on the cusp of turning 25. I often find myself looking back, and wondering where the time has gone. I am married to the love of my life, have two beautiful children, a beautiful home, and a family that adores them. My life now, is pretty close to perfect, in my opinion. I have everything that I have ever wanted, but it hasn't always been that way. I am in no way, shape, or form perfect. I have had personal struggles. I have made many, many, bad decisions and poor choices. To say that I went through a "rebellious stage" in my teens, would have to be an understatement. After all the heartache, looking back now, I see that I could have avoided almost all of it, if I had just listened to my mother. Every major life event that has ever gone wrong, she has been on the sidelines, cheering for me to go in the other direction. Every time that I was headed to hells door, she was there trying to send  me back up to the light. Why didn't I listen? Does any young person ever really listen to their parents, until they are grown? Ohhh, the sleep I could have avoided losing if I had just followed her orders. Sitting in bed this morning, sipping coffee, I reflect on times that I wish I had just bit the bullet and listened to Ole Pammy Pam.

1: Don't date bad boys, they only turn into bad men. Yeah, this is a big one. Not just for me, but it seems like my inner circle of friends (when we were younger) just loved to date people that treated us like crud. Ladies, honestly, there is nothing attractive about a bad boy. They suck on so many levels. Just because he has a motorcycle and a criminal record, doesn't mean it is an open invitation to try to "change" him. I understand in our weird brains, that we view this as a challenge, and want to be that girl they change for, but it will never happen. Unless they are carbon copies of James Dean, circa "Rebel Without a Cause", leave em alone. (Even then, you're still not Natalie Wood.) Trust me on this.

2: Take School Seriously. Ugh, if I had a dollar for every single time I heard this. I was always a good student, and then I had a taste of freedom in college and went wild. I breezed through semesters and didn't give grad school, or even graduation a second though. Far less, what or how I would support my future family, because of course, according to me at 18, I was "never, ever having children". Yeah, look at me now, I just recently sold a mini van at 24. Honestly, get an education. I finished up the lab assistant program with a baby and it was HARD. I plan on going back, SOMEDAY, but I know it will be even more challenging with two. Finish up before you have kids and make it easier on yourself, any mom in school with tell you that.

3: Stop letting people use you. This includes friends, boyfriends, family members. Whatever. If someone only comes around when it benefits them, then go ahead and cut them out of your life. They aren't your friend. These relationships usually turn toxic and end badly.

4: Cherish your true friends, and be there for them. I have a group of girlfriends that I adore, and even though we may not see each other as much as we'd like, when we do get together it is like time has never passed. People grow up, have their own lives, and move away, but the bond of true friendship can withstand numerous miles and missed phone calls. You all know who you are, and you know that through thick and thin, I will always be there for you guys!

5: NEVER SETTLE. Everyone deserves to be happy. Everyone deserves the best. It doesn't matter if it is a relationship, or a job. Do not settle for something that is mediocre when you could find something that is perfect. It took me a long time to quit settling, but once I did, my entire life changed, and for the better.

And then, there was one piece of advice I DID take............

My Mom encouraged me to marry someone that made me a better person. I had broken off an engagement that I knew wasn't right. She knew it too, but never said it. It was one of the best decisions, to date, that I have ever made for myself, and I am sure he feels the same. She assured me that when I found the one, I'd know, and to just go ahead and get married. Then I met my husband. Kyle and I were married after 8 months, a lot of drama, and a seriously wonderful whirlwind courtship. Mom was right, I just knew. It's been nearly three years and two kids later, and he still inspires me to be a better person. We have a lot of fun together, even if it's just sitting on the porch laughing about the day.

Moral of the story: Your mama knows what she is talking about. If I have any young readers out there, take it from the Queen of defiance and stupid choices, listen to her. She knows you better than anyone, and is willing to put up with all of your shit and still love you. If she tells you not to do something, leave it at that, and just don't. Don't be like me, looking back and cringing at all the idiotic things that I did in the past. Hopefully I can offer the same insight to my boys, although, if they are anything like me they probably won't listen.

One last thing, if you mom tells you that lime green, sequined prom dress that you die for is ugly, then chances are it probably is......

Just when I thought I couldn't love my MOM any more, she became a GRANDMA.

Growing up, I can remember always thinking I was so lucky, because I had a beautiful Mother. Not just physically, she was, and is still quiet attractive, but deep down too. My Mom is one of the most selfless, loving, caring, and intelligent women I know. She was a hell of a Mom, then, and now she is an even better Grandma. The love she has for my two boys, knows no bounds. Just watching her with them, makes my heart swell with pride. How lucky are we, to have someone who is such an inspiration?

I can't talk for the rest of you, but I know one thing. I never truly appreciated my Mother, until I had kids. Knowing that she did the same things for me, that I do for my children on a daily basis. No one knows that kind of love and sacrifice until they experience it. Getting up at 4 am to change a dirty diaper, kissing painful boo boos, sitting criss cross, applesauce in the floor, to read Henry and Mudge. It is hard to fathom that someone could love anyone as much as you love your kids, but then you realize, that your Mother did. She loved you. That is something that hits you like a ton of bricks one day, and makes you think, wow, maybe I should be nicer to Mom, she used to wipe my butt.

Only now do I realize that, all those late nights she made me come home at curfew, she was worried sick. All those times she told me, he isn't worth it, or trust me, you'll look back and thank me. She was right. All that unsolicited advice she offered me, about my future, schooling, marriage, children. She knew best. I wish I had only listened to half of it. She knew I wouldn't though, and she offered, and loved me anyways. Only a Mom could do that.

Not only do I love and appreciate my Mom more, after seeing her care and love my children. But I am also slowly, (and hilariously) turning into her. I have the same haircut now that she donned at 24. (Pure coincidence but nevertheless, pretty funny.) I catch myself saying stuff she used to say to me, when I was little. (Telling Greyson if he doesn't behave, the boogey foogs are going to get him. Horrible, I know. But he loves it.) Singing the same lullabies to the babies she used to sing to me. I realize, if I am going to turn into anyone, it would most definitely have to be her. I could be proud, being like my Mom.

So, the next time you are overwhelmed, and your Mom, comes and swoops in the babysit, or help with laundry, (like mine) even just to offer up an ear at the other end of a phone call, thank her. Tell her how much you appreciate her, and love her, and how glad you are, that she is the Grandmother of your children. It is something I don't do enough, but I have taken the time to do now.

Mom, I love you. You make me proud every day, and always have. Thanks for being such an awesome Mother, but thanks even more for being such an amazing GRANDMA.

We love you. -Court & The Boys. ( And even Kyle.)

Thirsty Thursday or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love "The Mom"

  Do any of you ever wonder where time has gone? I do. Even more so about what has caused me to become who I am. I mean, how can you dictate who you want to be, unless you have some sort of idea of how you got here? I don't mean to dive right into the philosophical deep end. I promise the reading gets lighter.

     I woke up this morning, and I was a wife and a mother of two children. I obviously know how those things happened, but when did I become so absorbed in this lifestyle? Three years ago I was worried about finding the right shoes. Now, I get excited over the right sippy cup. There are a lot of things that are different now, but the topic today is "going out." I don't do it anymore. blog over.... That's not entirely true. Kyle and I find a babysitter every now and then, and we get a little rare time to ourselves. We enjoy it tremendously, but that doesn't exactly encompass "going out" like many twenty-somethings understand the word.

     Two days ago, I did the impossible. I had a night out with my best friend, without my husband or my two kids. I have not gone anywhere, (except for the grocery store or to run errands)  without them for almost three years. I have considered doing it numerous times, going out with friends, having a "girls night", but only to cancel plans last minute, or come up with an excuse not to go. This is mostly because I have a hard time leaving them. We are all so attached at the hip, that even a few hours without them has me in a frenzy, wondering if they have forgotten about me. I am a crazy person, I know. I am with my babies all day, every second of the day, and I am anchored to them. They NEED me. They wonder where I am, if I am not there. Heck, they wonder where I am when I go to the bathroom. It is unfathomable for me to leave them for a few hours. Don't get me wrong, we take them and let them stay at their grandparents homes, but for them, that is the equivalent of a vacation. They get everything they want, whenever they want it, and they LOVE it. But this was different.This was for myself.

     This week has been particularly draining on me. My husband has been working later hours, my two year old has been a terror, and my baby is teething. I am exhausted. I am worn out. I am dead on my feet. I am still losing baby weight, and I have been feeling down on myself. Basically, I was throwing myself a pity party, when my husband had had enough, and told me to call my friend, and go out and have fun. I was skeptical, but I did. I needed it. I needed to be "Courtney" for a few hours, and not "Mrs. Hall" or "Mom". It has been a really long time since I was just simply, me.

     I went out with my best friend of close to ten years. Just the two of us. She sat and listened to me go on about my kids, as I sipped my drink, and laughed about how much life has changed. I listened to her talk about her work and catch me up on all the town gossip that I never get to hear. We looked around for familiar faces, and studied new ones. Watched as kids who were once young to us, sat at the bar and downed drinks. Time had caught up to two old friends. Neither one of us were the same anymore, and that was okay. Time has a funny way of doing that, when you least expect it.

     People ask me all the time, "Why don't you ever have fun anymore?" I thought I did. I do have fun, but it is a different kind of fun. Taking my kids to the park and seeing them happy, that is fun. Playing in finger paint and creating macaroni masterpieces, that is fun to me. Loading up my mini-van (yes, mini van) and packing the family up to go to dinner, is fun to me. The days of  crowded bars, socializing and "going out" are over for me, and thank god. All that is seriously exhausting. I realized, I have EVERY single thing that I have ever wanted in this life. Every single thing. I don't need a night away from them. I don't want a night away.

      The people, the socializing and everything else that went along with that time of my life was fun to me. I can't remember a  defining event that took the fun out of it, for me. After having children, I didn't instantly get a bad taste in my mouth if someone mentioned "going out." It wasn't like finding out about the Easter bunny. I think it is more like slowly leaving Neverland. Actually, its slowly realizing that you aren't really forgetting about Neverland, you just found a better place to have fun. 

      As I sat across the table from my best, we both came to the realization that, by some weird twist of fate, we had both grown up. Our stories weren't wild anymore, we used the word "bills" in one too many sentences, and way too many of our friends are getting married. I will be 25 this year, and she will be 26. She asked me, "Where did 18 go?" I have thought of it ever since. I honestly do not know. But a girls night, now, looks a lot like sitting in a room with a film reel, and watching the past go by. It is fun to look, but you would never want to go back.