Thirsty Thursday or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love "The Mom"

  Do any of you ever wonder where time has gone? I do. Even more so about what has caused me to become who I am. I mean, how can you dictate who you want to be, unless you have some sort of idea of how you got here? I don't mean to dive right into the philosophical deep end. I promise the reading gets lighter.

     I woke up this morning, and I was a wife and a mother of two children. I obviously know how those things happened, but when did I become so absorbed in this lifestyle? Three years ago I was worried about finding the right shoes. Now, I get excited over the right sippy cup. There are a lot of things that are different now, but the topic today is "going out." I don't do it anymore. blog over.... That's not entirely true. Kyle and I find a babysitter every now and then, and we get a little rare time to ourselves. We enjoy it tremendously, but that doesn't exactly encompass "going out" like many twenty-somethings understand the word.

     Two days ago, I did the impossible. I had a night out with my best friend, without my husband or my two kids. I have not gone anywhere, (except for the grocery store or to run errands)  without them for almost three years. I have considered doing it numerous times, going out with friends, having a "girls night", but only to cancel plans last minute, or come up with an excuse not to go. This is mostly because I have a hard time leaving them. We are all so attached at the hip, that even a few hours without them has me in a frenzy, wondering if they have forgotten about me. I am a crazy person, I know. I am with my babies all day, every second of the day, and I am anchored to them. They NEED me. They wonder where I am, if I am not there. Heck, they wonder where I am when I go to the bathroom. It is unfathomable for me to leave them for a few hours. Don't get me wrong, we take them and let them stay at their grandparents homes, but for them, that is the equivalent of a vacation. They get everything they want, whenever they want it, and they LOVE it. But this was different.This was for myself.

     This week has been particularly draining on me. My husband has been working later hours, my two year old has been a terror, and my baby is teething. I am exhausted. I am worn out. I am dead on my feet. I am still losing baby weight, and I have been feeling down on myself. Basically, I was throwing myself a pity party, when my husband had had enough, and told me to call my friend, and go out and have fun. I was skeptical, but I did. I needed it. I needed to be "Courtney" for a few hours, and not "Mrs. Hall" or "Mom". It has been a really long time since I was just simply, me.

     I went out with my best friend of close to ten years. Just the two of us. She sat and listened to me go on about my kids, as I sipped my drink, and laughed about how much life has changed. I listened to her talk about her work and catch me up on all the town gossip that I never get to hear. We looked around for familiar faces, and studied new ones. Watched as kids who were once young to us, sat at the bar and downed drinks. Time had caught up to two old friends. Neither one of us were the same anymore, and that was okay. Time has a funny way of doing that, when you least expect it.

     People ask me all the time, "Why don't you ever have fun anymore?" I thought I did. I do have fun, but it is a different kind of fun. Taking my kids to the park and seeing them happy, that is fun. Playing in finger paint and creating macaroni masterpieces, that is fun to me. Loading up my mini-van (yes, mini van) and packing the family up to go to dinner, is fun to me. The days of  crowded bars, socializing and "going out" are over for me, and thank god. All that is seriously exhausting. I realized, I have EVERY single thing that I have ever wanted in this life. Every single thing. I don't need a night away from them. I don't want a night away.

      The people, the socializing and everything else that went along with that time of my life was fun to me. I can't remember a  defining event that took the fun out of it, for me. After having children, I didn't instantly get a bad taste in my mouth if someone mentioned "going out." It wasn't like finding out about the Easter bunny. I think it is more like slowly leaving Neverland. Actually, its slowly realizing that you aren't really forgetting about Neverland, you just found a better place to have fun. 

      As I sat across the table from my best, we both came to the realization that, by some weird twist of fate, we had both grown up. Our stories weren't wild anymore, we used the word "bills" in one too many sentences, and way too many of our friends are getting married. I will be 25 this year, and she will be 26. She asked me, "Where did 18 go?" I have thought of it ever since. I honestly do not know. But a girls night, now, looks a lot like sitting in a room with a film reel, and watching the past go by. It is fun to look, but you would never want to go back.

My all time favorite Greyson-isms.

My oldest son came into my life kicking, and screaming two and a half years ago, and has not stopped since. He fills my days with laughter, chaos, and tremendous fun. Some of the things he says and does are unbelievably hilarious. Wise beyond his years, sharp as a tack and never lacking in wit, he makes me belly laugh every single day.

 One of the reasons people urged me to start writing this blog, was to hear more about Greyson's exploits. I usually take to Facebook to rant about something he has done, or share something funny he has said. Folks that I do not even know, will come up to me in the store, and tell me they love reading about him. That makes me feel good, even if people are getting a laugh at my expense, at least they are laughing.

I have compiled a list of my favorite "Greyson-isms" to date. Some come from Facebook, some are just stories we like to tell on him. I hope you guys get a good laugh out of them, everybody needs something to brighten up a Monday!

• Kyle taught Greyson how to say "boobies" and it's his new favorite word. He says it everywhere we go. Screams it in public places. I dunno. It's hopeless.
•  I'm so mad at Greyson! We were in the garage an I was putting a load of laundry in and when my head was turned he got in Kyle's Nissan and shut the door!! I was in hysterics for at least two minutes before I saw his white head in the drivers seat acting like he was driving. I almost had a panic attack thinking he had been kidnapped!
•  Morning sickness coma and Greyson is throwing books off my balcony. One day when he's old enough I will be able to pay him back for all his meanness.
•  G poured cold chicken "noonle" soup all over my bed and all over Bubby's head. He told me Bubby was hungry and wanted to eat-eat. I may or may not send him to boarding school when he is old enough.
•  Mopped all my floors upstairs. Looked back and G was pouring out baby powder and rolling in it like a dog. : / He told me "the bid help mommy clean." Lol help me, this kid is out to turn my hair gray.
•  It's not a normal day at my house until one kid poops in the corner and the other vomits bananas on my freshly washed comforter. Just trying to get through my morning pot of coffee.
•  G was doing something bad today, so I yelled his full name (Greyson Jeffrey Hall) and I told him to quit. When I do this, he knows he is in trouble. He turned around and pointed his finger at me and said, "No, Courtney, my name is the Bid." Anddddd what am I supposed to do with that?
•  Mom status. Leaf blowing with a two year old on your shoulders, naked, while he's eating a hot dog. That happened to me today.
•  There's nothing like taking the commode off the floor and fishing out a flushed door stopper to make you feel like you've earned that "Dad" title. 
•  I walked in my upstairs sitting room (which is beside our kitchen) and G is laying sprawled out on the couch, naked as a jay bird, drinking a Pepsi. I didn't give him a pop so I asked him what he was doing. He threw his hands up and said, "I ont know mama, I just had to. Captain Hook get it for me." Normal.
•  I told G that he could have anything he wanted for lunch today. He currently is having ham, ramen noodles and chocolate covered waffles. ???? Where is my application for mom of the year??
•  You've gotta appreciate the brutal honesty of kids. G has told me everyday for the past three days that I have a big fat butt......: /.......I told him it was his and his brothers fault and that I didn't care anymore. He offered me a papaw cookie (vanilla wafer) and told me it was "otay".
•  What in my two year olds mind makes him think it's okay to pee in the storage compartment of his tricycle?? I swear I'm getting gray hair.
•  The only man I'd ever let go naked and eat waffles in my bed is my two year old, and he's taking full advantage.
•  Greyson has had himself a big time today. Got to eat copious amounts of hot dogs, swim in the lake, see all the people he loves the most, and pee outdoors.....several times.
•  G's been eating my candles. He's such a little creep. Came in my room with his grimy fingers and mouth smelling like hot apple pie. I told him he'd have to ride this one out, that I wasn't calling poison control again.
•  And we have the 2nd black eye in two weeks. Greyson tried to swan dive from the coffee table to the couch and miscalculated his athleticism. He's currently nursing his wounds with chip-chips and papaw cookies (vanilla wafers).
•  Most two year olds have reasonable requests; action figures, balls, movies. Mine is determined to get a backhoe, or a comparable piece of heavy equipment.
•  I swear, I could be eating a big turd and just because I was eating it, Greyson would cry to have it. No wonder I've already lost all the baby weight, I never get to eat!
•  just caught G blowing kisses to himself in the mirror and calling himself pretty boy. How hilarious. I guess vanity knows no age.
•  I got woken up this morning by Greyson sneezing in my face, on purpose. I was so mad at him, and he was dying laughing. I got up to yell at him and he smacked me on the butt and told me to fix him some juice juice......Idk what I'm even supposed to say to that?
•  Turns out getting G a "Jake and the Neverland Pirates" sword for Easter was a bad idea. I ended up with a busted mouth this evening and I actually cried.
•  G just woke up and wanted some apple juice. When I handed him his sippy he dramatically kissed my hand and without saying a word, walked back to his room and got in bed. The kid has some serious style.
•  G debuted a new song today. The title is "mo noodles."

•  G has used the bathroom in his potty like a big boy all day. He's now currently naked in my great room, playing his guitar and singing his rendition of his original song, "I got a Bubby." 

  Sorry the post is so long, but it was hard for me to choose. I just wanted to give ya'll an idea of what kind of circus I live in on the daily. We have a really, really good time.  I hope these gave you a good laugh and made your monday a little more bearable. Wishing everyone a good work week! 

The Best 10 Pieces of Parenting Advice I got with my first baby......that I know are true now that I have a second.

When you have a baby, seems like every woman who has ever given birth (and some who have not) want to bombard you with advice about everything. What diapers are best, what bottles reduce colic, what formula helps with spit up. The list is endless. When I was pregnant with my first baby, I was not jaded. I welcomed the advice with open ears. I knew nothing about parenting, or babies. I needed the advice!! Now that I consider myself semi well seasoned in the art of caring for children, I too can become one of those annoying, know it all-mothers that offer up advice at the drop of a hat. But honestly, I only do it because I enjoyed the tips. It made my life easier. Don't get me wrong, the shell shock of having children never completely goes away, but being prepared can lighten the load. Here are the 10 best pieces of advice I got with my first baby, Greyson. Now that I have had River, I know them to be completely true!

1: If you want to breast feed, then breast feed. If you don't, then don't. I tried with both of mine, but it just was not a good fit for us. It doesn't mean I am any less of a mother. I applaud breast feeding, I think it is fantastic, but it isn't for some people....and that is okay! Some moms really love it and enjoy it, and that is okay too! To each their own. I formula fed both of mine, and they are completely fine!

2: Invest in a "Diaper Genie". Just do it. They air lock those stinky diapers and keep them contained so your little one doesn't stink up that beautiful nursery that took you months to decorate. I mean honestly, nobody is going to care how lovely that paint job and chandelier is if all they can smell is baby poo.

3: Look into baby wearing. I honestly said I would never in a million years do it, but come on. Be realistic. You can't pack that little thing around all day. In a perfect world, the dishes would do themselves and so would the laundry, but that's all on you, mama. A friend sold me her moby wrap and can I tell you that I strap my big man in there and clean away. God send.

4: Read the damn baby books. Come on. It doesn't hurt. They have all kinds at the library. I was partial to What to Expect when you're Expecting, and also, What to Expect: The Toddler Years. In all seriousness, nobody knows before hand what a "mucous plug and bloody show" is before reading these books. Scary, but useful.

5: Do not, repeat, do not buy anything nice for a while. When Kyle and I first got married, we wanted to decorate our new house and go all out. One problem. Our (then) 18 month old was a newly walking terrorist, who would throw sippy cups and sling spaghetti everywhere. That white couch you love?......try getting banana baby food out of it. That antique candy dish that grandma left you.....your child eventually will try to use that as a frisbee. Put all valuble items up and just pray that they won't destroy what you have.

6: Lavender baby wash for bed time. I swear by this stuff. You can buy it in different brands. Aveeno is good, and so is Johnson and Johnson. I give mine baths with this and put the lotion on before bedtime every night and it helps them fall right to sleep. Plus it smells heavenly.

7: Use Dreft detergent for your babe's clothes. It is gentle, hypoallergenic and fragrance free. It will not irritate them. I learned this the hard way. Gain can cause a bad rash on a newborn.

8: The old wive's tale "take the bottle when the sign is in the knees" is legit. My mother in law shared this one with me. We were weaning Greyson from his beloved (and I do mean beloved) bottle and she kept telling me to wait until the moon sign was in the knees. I can't remember full logistics, but it has something to do with lunar tides and all kinds of crazy stuff. A farmers almanac can tell you when it will be. Do it. It works. No lie. Google it.

9: Teething tablets will become your friends. Teething babies are no joke. It is miserable. For you. For them. Everyone. I use herbal tablets for my boys, they dissolve under the tongue and help calm your baby down and allow them to rest while those teeth are cutting through. They have saved me many times. Many times.

10: Slow down and Enjoy every second with your little ones. This one is age old. Of all the advice I received this one was the most used. "They grow up so quick". Yep. They do. Take time to love on them, memorize their little baby faces and take lots of pictures so you can have them, always. Let the dishes go unwashed to watch Mickey mouse, forget the laundry so you can cuddle. These days won't last long and there is no getting them back. This is the time when you are most love, most treasured and most needed. When they are grown, they won't want you to do those things anymore. Treasure it.

To all you moms out there, cheers to you! Share your advice, be proud of your experiences and never stop helping other mamas who need a well seasoned voice.
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